


I am Only Human

by MischiefWriter9



Category: The Tomorrow People (2013)
Genre: Letters, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:04:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5684620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MischiefWriter9/pseuds/MischiefWriter9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Letters Jedikiah sends to John over the years after John Left him and Ultra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So assuming the show takes place in 2013 and John is 28 he's 21 when Jed starts sending him these letters.

September 6th 2006  
John,

I wish you knew just how proud you make me…you don’t have to be the perfect soldier, for me to be proud of you….I’ve always believed in you…Always cared for you…you were…you ARE everything to me. The day that you signed up to be a part of the Annax project…my heart broke…because I thought I was going to lose you…

I know I wasn’t the best with explaining the situations that caused me to withhold information from you about certain things…Every time you hurt…a piece of me inside died. I hurt alongside you, John…I know I hurt you…And every time I made you do something you never wanted to do…it was…It was ALL to protect you… To keep you from Bathory’s target…

I’m so sorry John…I hated every single second of it…They were going to kill you…they were going to take you away from me and kill everyone if I didn’t do what I did…I know its not excusable…I know I took your life away from you…I know you hated what I made you become…I take every responsibility for that and I can never apologize enough. I love you kiddo…always have and always will.

I know you’re no longer that smart and strong little kid I met over a decade ago…I needed to make you strong…I needed to keep you Alive…I don’t expect you to forgive me for everything that I’ve done…everything that I’ve made you do…I Hate myself everyday for putting you through everything I did…

You were and always will be my boy, John. Hopefully one day we can move past the lies…my mistakes…  
I love you John…

Always,  
Jedikiah


	2. Pain is an Illusion

December 18th 2007 

John,

I was looking back on some old videos…you wouldn’t believe how I much I missed you today…I will always regret the day you walked out of my life…I’ll never blame you for it though…It was for the better…you would be safer that way…that’s the important thing. I would rather have you alive and hate me then dead because of me...

I guess there is no logic to love…but I hope one-day life will lead you back into my arms. I know you probably think I’m crazy…I know you probably even resent or hate me for everything…I needed you to be unaware of the plans that were put into place…it was the only way to protect both you and Roger…I thought I could do it…I really thought I could save you both… I failed myself and most importantly…I failed you. 

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have nightmares…that I don’t hate myself for losing you…for everything I put you through…

I thought I was helping you when I was too stupid to see that I was hurting you…

Is it pathetic of me that I keep hoping that maybe one day you will come home to me? After everything…I doubt you could ever forgive me…but I’m hopeful that I didn’t completely ruin your compassion and caring nature….

I love you son.

Love,  
Jedikiah


	3. The weight of the world is pullin' me down

April 27th 2008

John,

I know I still haven’t explained things very well to you…but I just cant do it, not yet anyway…I need to figure things out before I can explain myself…Its not that I don’t trust you kiddo…I just cant have you knowing information that could get you hurt…or killed.

I trust you more than anyone else in my life, so please just trust me. I’m going to fix everything…I’m going to make everything okay again…that way you can come home…we can be together again and not have anything to worry about.

Please write back…let me know you’re safe and doing okay…I know we didn’t leave in the best of terms…but it safer that way…I know it sounds crazy…but one day you’ll understand…I know what I’m doing and I promise everything will be okay again soon.

I may not be able to write again until I get to the safe house…you know the one… I would take you there on your birthday so we could celebrate together…

I miss you…I hope to bring you back home soon.

Love,  
Jedikiah


	4. Waiting Like a Ghost, When I need you the Most

June 17th 2010

 

John,

I missed your Birthday…

I’m sorry kiddo…I promise I will make it up to you when I set our plan into motion…It wont be much longer now…I’m just looking for the right opportunity and right person to help me make it happen.

I haven’t heard back from you so I hope you are getting these letters…I just want to know you’re safe… I’m doing this all for you Kiddo…So we can finally have a life together…so you can have the life you deserve.

I love you. See you Soon.

Love,

Jedikiah


	5. I Wonder if you know that I'm Sleepless

January 6th 2011

John,

 

I can’t stop thinking about you these days…you’re all that’s on my mind… I want to know that you’re okay…that you’re in a good place…better than I could provide for you.

I wish I could’ve made everything different…that I could’ve given you a better home…a better childhood…a better life…you have no idea how much the regrets eat away at my mind. I always had to put on act…to clear my mind and keep you out of the prying of the Founder…I couldn’t let him know that you were my weakness…that I would die before ever letting anything do any serious harm to you. You’re the only living soul that I could ever completely trust, John…

I know I broke all the promises to you…I know I broke the trust you once had for me. But I need you, John. I need you to come home to me…I’ve lost everyone…I have no one left…and nothing left to live for… I need you…

Please John… I know I screwed up…I have nothing without you…

Come Home.

Love,

Jedikiah


	6. This is just a bruise and you are just confused

February 15th 2012

John,

All of those years…did they mean nothing to you? Everything…everything you and I went through…I can’t just let you go…

I will do anything and everything that I can to bring you back… To bring us back to how we used to be…

I miss you so much…  
John, you are my life…my everything…you’re everything I could ever hope for…and I let you go…I’m so stupid to have let you go…

Please forgive me…

Jedikiah


	7. The Night Is Bitter Cold.

March 16th 2013

John,

Happy Birthday Kiddo…

By this point I’ve come to the acceptance that you’re not coming home…that I’ve lost you for good this time…

I will never forget what we used to have…

I’m sorry for everything…

I’ll stop writing now…

Jedikiah


End file.
